Laughter is the best medicine...have a gud laugh with sardarji...

Laughter is the best medicine... have a gud laugh.. :-D

Sardar Is Back Again -  time to laugh :

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- "1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: "
Bombay..Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

Why teachers drink--or bang their heads against the wall!!!...........

Why Teachers Drink 

Students’Answers to test questions:

 




 
   
  
  Why Teachers Drink............
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 

 
 

Family Jokes

Adam and Eve  A little boy asked his father,   "How did the human race start?"   The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."  Two days later the boy asked his mother the same question. The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."  The confused boy returned to his father and said, "Dad how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mum said they developed from monkeys?" The father answered, "Well, son it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers."

Cara Nabi S.A.W Jaga Kesihatan

Kalau saya tanya ;

“Siapakah contoh terbaik dalam kehidupan kita?”

Saya yakin, pasti ramai yang akan jawab ;

“Sudah pastilah, contoh yang terbaik ialah Rasulullah SAW.”

Semua orang mengaku Rasulullah SAW adalah contoh terbaik bagi kita. Tapi berapa ramaikah yang ikut baginda SAW? Berapa ramaikah diantara kita yang benar mencontohi kehidupan Rasulullah SAW?

Cuba tanya diri kita masing-masing ;

Solat kita contohnya. Adakah ikut nabi SAW? Adakah kita sentiasa solat diawal waktu? Solat di masjid @ surau? Secara berjemaah?

Bagaimana pula dengan bacaan Quran? Berapa banyak kita baca? 10 ayat? 100 ayat? Atau kita langsung tak baca? Masa kita banyak dihabiskan depan TV?

Kita kata kita cinta Rasulullah. Kita mengaku dia sebaik-baik contoh. Tapi mengapa kita tak ikut pun apa yang baginda SAW ajarkan?

Dalam post kali ini, saya ingin berkongsi dengan anda mengenai cara hidup sihat yang Rasulullah SAW amalkan.

Kalau kita baca sirah Nabi SAW. Baginda pernah sakit beberapa kali saja dalam hidup baginda SAW. Apakah rahsianya?

Selain daripada diri Baginda SAW itu sendiri yang sememangnya istimewa dan dilindungi Allah ta’ala secara khusus. Rasulullah SAW sebenarnya mengamalkan cara hidup yang sihat.

Cara Nabi SAW Jaga Kesihatan

Berikut adalah antara beberapa cara hidup sihat yang Baginda SAW amalkan:

• Selalu bangun sebelum subuh

Rasulullah mengajak umatnya untuk bangun sebelum Subuh bagi melaksanakan solat sunat, solat fardu dan solat Subuh secara berjemaah.

Hal ini memberi hikmah yang mendalam antaranya mendapat limpahan pahala, kesegaran udara subuh yang baik terutama untuk merawat penyakit tibi serta memperkuatkan akal fikiran.

• Aktif menjaga kebersihan

Rasulullah sentiasa bersih dan rapi. Setiap Khamis atau Jumaat, Baginda mencuci rambut halus di pipi, memotong kuku, bersikat serta memakai minyak wangi.

“Mandi pada hari Jumaat adalah sangat dituntut bagi setiap orang dewasa. Demikian pula menggosok gigi dan pemakai harum-haruman.” (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

• Tidak pernah makan berlebihan

Sabda Rasulullah w yang bermaksud: “Kami adalah satu kaum yang tidak makan sebelum lapar dan apabila kami makan tidak terlalu banyak (tidak sampai kekenyangan).” (Muttafaq Alaih)

Dalam tubuh manusia ada tiga ruang untuk tiga benda: Sepertiga untuk udara, sepertiga untuk air dan sepertiga lainnya untuk makanan.

Bahkan ada satu pendidikan khusus bagi umat Islam iaitu dengan berpuasa pada Ramadan bagi menyeimbangkan kesihatan selain Nabi selalu berpuasa sunat.

• Gemar berjalan kaki

Rasulullah berjalan kaki ke masjid, pasar, medan jihad dan mengunjungi rumah sahabat. Apabila berjalan kaki, peluh pasti mengalir, roma terbuka dan peredaran darah berjalan lancar.

Ini penting untuk mencegah penyakit jantung. Berbanding kita sekarang yang lebih selesa menaiki kenderaan. Kalau mahu meletakkan kenderaan, mesti letak betul-betul di hadapan tempat yang  hendak kita pergi.

• Tidak pemarah

Nasihat Rasulullah ‘jangan marah’ diulangi sampai tiga kali. Ini menunjukkan hakikat kesihatan dan kekuatan Muslim bukanlah terletak pada jasad, tetapi lebih kepada kebersihan jiwa.

Ada terapi yang tepat untuk menahan perasaan marah iaitu dengan mengubah posisi ketika marah, bila berdiri maka hendaklah kita duduk dan apabila sedang duduk, maka perlu berbaring.

Kemudian membaca Ta’awwudz kerana marah itu daripada syaitan, segera mengambil wuduk dan solat dua rakaat bagi mendapat ketenangan serta menghilangkan gundah
di hati.

• Optimis dan tidak putus asa

Sikap optimis memberikan kesan emosional yang mendalam bagi kelapangan jiwa selain perlu banyakkan sabar, istiqamah, bekerja keras serta tawakal kepada Allah s.w.t.

• Tidak pernah iri hati

Bagi menjaga kestabilan hati dan kesihatan jiwa, semestinya kita perlu menjauhi daripada sifat iri hati. “Ya Allah, bersihkanlah hatiku dari sifat-sifat mazmumah dan hiasilah diriku dengan sifat-sifat mahmudah.”

• Pemaaf

Pemaaf adalah sifat yang sangat dituntut bagi mendapatkan ketenteraman hati dan jiwa. Memaafkan orang lain membebaskan diri kita daripada dibelenggu rasa kemarahan.

Sekiranya kita marah, maka marah itu melekat pada hati. Justeru, jadilah seorang yang pemaaf kerana yang pasti badan sihat.

Bahagia sebenarnya bukan mendapat tetapi dengan memberi. Sebenarnya, banyak lagi cara hidup sihat rasul semoga hati kita semakin dekat dengan Nabi yang amat kita rindukan pertemuan dengannya.

Sumber Artikel : Ustaz Mohd. Zawawi Yusoh

50 THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW

50 THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW (or 50 Completely Useless Facts!)
The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms　 like fried bacon. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions! What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off! Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath There is a city called Romeon every continent. It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland! Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day! Horatio Nelson, one of England's most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness. The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe! The elephant is the only mammal　 that can't jump! One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet! Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different! The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin! The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle.
Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th." Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it. On average a hedgehog's　heart beats 300 times a minute. More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times! The six official languages of the United Nations are: English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Russian and Spanish. Earth is the only planet not named after a god. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church inNebraska, USA. You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food! Dolphins sleep with one eye open! It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old! The longest recorded flight　 of a chicken is 13 seconds. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not. Slugs have 4 noses. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue. A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years! A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue! The average person laughs 10 times a day! An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain ------------------------